a different kind of blogger

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Let’s be like BB-8. Not like whiny Kylo Ren.

 

Hello, dudes and dudettes.

 

I haven’t posted or been WordPress a lot lately, except for liking my friends’ posts.

 

I haven’t felt much like posting.

 

I guess I’ve become a little bitter with blogging. If there’s two things I’ve learned about blogging, it’s this.

Some people might love ya. But there will be people who don’t.

And those people will waste no time informing you of that fact.

 

I’ve been going through some of my posts, changing things up on my blog.

I’ve been going through comments of all my posts.

Oof.

So many cringy comments. So many people upset over nothing. So many people who don’t like what I have to say.

So many people “just putting their two cents in”. (A.K.A, I really liked to argue and you suck, so this is perfect!)

One of my site pages ended up getting so many repetitive comments with people criticizing me for my method of being an author and blogger (not even about a moral issue, folks) that I had to delete all comments and shut off the ability to comment on that page.

 

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At first I was so excited to share that part of my life with the world, so I left the comments wide open in hopes to chat giddily with some other writers as we fangirled together.

Instead, I got slapped in the face and told I was wrong and was breaking the rules.

Well.

I guess in my years of Internet isolation (I did not get a blog until I was almost 18 – and had no writer friends until then) I was not informed of all the rules of writing that actually mean, well, nothing. They were just the things no one was supposed to do because, well, you just weren’t. They had heard from someone else who heard it from someone else who heard one writer said you should never do that.

Well guess what.

I did it.

The worst part was, I was sorry for a little while. I was sorry I had broken a rule that had been creating by the Secret Society Of Boring Writers™.

But I realize now.

I’m not sorry.

And I should never have been.

My family likes to say I can be rule breaker, especially when we’re on vacation. When I was on one of those Dizzy Disk rides at Dollywood, I found it very fun to ride with my hands in the air.

 

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There is is

 

But, apparently, there was a distinct possibility of me flying off and killing myself should I raise my hands, because on the loudspeaker from the ride operators voice soon boomed,

“PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE HANDLEBARS, PLEASE”

 

Alllllllllll righty then. Excuse me, sir.

 

The same vacation, we decided to do one of those cool escape rooms. In an effort to find a clue, I climbed a prop chair to get a better look at the ceiling. That earned me a loud beeping buzzer noise from the guy watching us from security cameras.

 

“DON’T STAND ON THE PROPS!” read the TV monitor.

 

WELL THEN.

Yeesh. *climbs down*

 

While I was in Tennessee a few months ago I was at one of those indoor trampoline parks. (As you can see, my family loves tourist destinations.) I was on the little kids side (of course) hopping from tiny trampoline to tiny trampoline. (I know how to party HARD am I right??)

One lady (basically the land version of a lifeguard?) walked up to me and informed me that “only four years old and younger can jump on those.”

Oops.

I have a habit of breaking da rules.

My dad says that I’m the kind of person who takes after my mom. We see rules as sort of this great idea, a good goal to shoot for. But, they can easily be bent or broken adjusted should they need be.

My point is, I don’t care if I’m breaking the rules.

Man’s pointless rules, that is. I want to always have God’s rules fixed upon my heart. But have ya ever noticed that people have a lot of pointless rules?

Eat clean. Recycle. Ride your bike to work. Don’t use straws. Use good grammar. Argue on Instagram the second someone doesn’t agree with you. Write this way. Not like that.

Be exactly like us.

Jeez Louise.

I mean, this stuff by itself isn’t sinful. It’s not wrong, and the deep down the very core of the issue is a good hearted matter. (Most of the time.)

But preaching it like it’s the Gospel. Saying that’s going to get you to heaven, saying that is going to heal all your problems. That’s wrong. Because there’s only one Person who can truly do that.

And I’m going to break a lot of blogger hearts by saying this but, your comment telling me I’m wrong does not make me change my mind about what I wrote. You telling me you don’t agree and you don’t like my post and you think I don’t do a good job at being an author does not change my mind. I will not fall at your feet, begging for forgiveness, wailing at how stupid I have been, and thanking you for showing me the light.

I used to try to respond to those people who ruined my days with their critical, weird comments. Now, I just delete them. Into the trash they go. They don’t even get posted on my website, because they have to be manually approved by me. And so their aggravating words don’t even get to see the sunlight. (Thanks for the suggestion, Dad. It’s helped.)

It’s hard sometimes, because I could still respond with a fire comeback that would destroy their very will to live. But of course, God always whispers back into my heart.

It’s not very loving to destroy people’s will to live, even if they deserved it.

And besides, 9 times out of 10, I’ve found that I’ll always end up regretting that I had said something, rather than if I kept quiet.

But it is hard to refrain from posting and responding to those comments.

Christian bloggers have mastered the art of being annoying.

The world has gotten very good at being nasty, cruel, and even violent over the internet. But Christian internet users have become experts at being subtly annoying.

I’ve seen this on almost all my friend’s blogs. They’re victims of this too. Getting strange, rude, and annoying from other Christians.

 

 

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This is the most accurate GIF ever of how it feels to read comments on your post.

 

Really, guys? Instead of encouraging your friends on that post they just spent hours typing up, you comment something snide and discouraging, sometimes even going as far as making assumptions about them that are none of your business, calling them names, or even shaming them on your own blog. (I have actually had the last one happen to me.)

 

Here’s some advice on what to do when you see a post you don’t agree with:

 

Don’t comment. At all. 

 

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y o u   d o n t   h a v e    t o   s a y   a n y t h i n g

 

I’m serious. Don’t ruin their day by telling them that you disagree or why their wrong or why their post is stupid. And especially don’t “add on to what they already said”. This isn’t a group thread, and you’re not a preacher. This is their post, enjoy it and move on.

If I see a post I don’t agree with, but it’s by a friend who I try to read all of their posts, I simply hit the like button to show I read it, and move on. (But to all my blogger friends, please don’t assume if I don’t comment I don’t agree. 9.5 times out of 10 I do agree with what your posts say. I’m just tired and probably am trying to watch a movie and eat lunch and edit my novel so I couldn’t.)

 

I know I’m not supposed to let those words get under my skin. I wish I was tough. So that those words bounce off of me like Sophie bounces off of Sandor when she runs into him.

But they do.

Sometimes I wonder why I blog at all. Or even write another book. With all the complaints that I get on all of my writing, it gets discouraging.

Everyone’s got their own opinions. And they suck, to be honest.

 

I was watching TV show that featured a group of cloggers who were amazing. They had perfect footwork, and an talented group. After an awesome display of dance and music, one of the dancers were asked, “Why do you love clogging?”

He responded like this: “It’s about the audience. Seeing the smiles on their faces. It makes it all worth it.”

Gosh, it felt like it had been so long since I had someone really just enjoy my writing. Just to give them a piece of me, and they just enjoyed it. Just being there. Just for giving them an escape.

Not because they were there to grade it for typos. Or to tell me it was “too unrealistic”. But just to enjoy the escape from this painful reality. To another world, and show them that, “Hey, you can do this too. I know you’re just as strong as the characters here. Go back and live. You can do it.”

I think when someone gives us book, whether we bought it at the bookstore or we were asked to beta read, we think we have been bestowed the high honor to meticulously pick out everything about it and curl our noses up at everything that was wrong.

But maybe we should just, enjoy.

Fandoms can be weird places, trust me. But, at least they have this going for them. They’re a bunch of people who aren’t there to talk about that typo of page 42 or how it was so unrealistic when that happened or that WE could have done it better. We’re just here to love what an artist has created. And given to us.

A piece of their very own heart.

But, every now and then, that does still happen for me. Someone will email me about my novel. Or my sister will come up to me to chat about it. Or I’ll get a emoji filled comment from a follower. And their faces and words shine with how much they loved it. They weren’t there to criticize. They were just there to love. And feel. And enjoy.

And then I know I can keep on writing.

So maybe we should all start being a different kind of blogger. The one who just clicks out of the comment section if we’re just there to disagree. The kind that likes people’s pages and posts and fills their comment section with love and how much we adore their writing style. The kind that if we see something we don’t like, we close the window, leave the phone on the dresser, and go outside and be kind to someone else instead. The one who wants to fangirl over books instead of pick them apart with snide words and high minded thoughts.

Let’s be a different kind of blogger today.

 

Of course I am a Christian so I had to be inspirational at the end. Mostly I’m just here to complain. And ask the blogging community of a little more politeness. Still, thanks for reading.

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73 thoughts on “a different kind of blogger

  1. Christian bloggers have mastered the art of being annoying.

    GOSH FREAKING DARNIT SOMEONE SAID IT SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE penny you keep up this a+ content, you keep it up, you go girl, YOU GO

    Liked by 3 people

  2. O_O *instantly life crises to see if I was that kind of blogger or I said something wrong and hides for 2 minutes*
    This was deep Penny. And important. And good. I just… I don’t want to look bad but I don’t know how to express how important what you just said is and how much it means. I’m sorry for the mean comments *glares at whoever said them COME AT ME YOU* and I’m really sorry you’ve had to come against that kind of negativity, but know that I am so so glad to see that you turned that into sometime positive and important for the blogsphere. *hugs* You’re an amazing bean, remember that, and whether you’re writing or blogging or squealing about Star Wars (GALAXY’S EDGE AGOJL) it’s great because it’s you. 😀 (Also fandoms can be toxic depending on what element y’know) (like ships) (*hides*)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jo. Your comment really means a lot. I hope everyone can still read this post and think twice before commenting something rude. Hopefully something positive CAN come from it! 😀
      (And I never said they couldn’t be toxic. *STAR WARS* *YIKES* But at least they aren’t talking about typos. Which is more than Goodreads can say. XD)

      Like

  3. Keep that keyboard clicking baby girl (yes I can still call you that)!!! You are an amazing writer and person. As they say……”haters gonna hate”. Especially when they see how amazing you really are. Keep that chin up and keep typing!!!! I need some fresh reading material!!!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. You are TOO SWEET, DAD!! ❤ I love you. And I will, Dad! I can't wait until I have some new stuff for you to read!! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

  4. I’m so sorry about the negative comments you have received! 😦 Don’t listen to them, I think your blog is lovely. 🌸 😀 Also I loved the reference about Sophie and Sandor. XD That was great. I hope a lot of people see this post and are effected by it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw, that’s all right! And thank you! I adore your blog as well!!! ❤ (Also yessssss thank you for saying you caught the reference ;D )
      Thank you so much! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you PENNY! I know that alot of people need to hear this! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🙌This whole thing was🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 And all your books are master pieces and I gladly beat up any who begs to differ😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Omgosh!! Preach, Penny! I honestly didn’t know what the blogging world needed to hear, but after reading this post, this is what it needed! I’m just so thankful that you chose to be brave enough to post it and second of all to be brave enough to tackle such a difficult subject. This was AMAZING!! I’ve noticed some of things you mentioned, but I’m not sure I would’ve had the spunk to write about it, but as you said you’re a rule breaker and sometimes that’s a really good thing, girl! I’m so sorry you were receiving hurtful and critical comments! I’ve always loved reading your posts! You’re an awesome blogger and the right people will see that!! 👏🎊😎❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you SO MUCH, Lizzy!!! You were just too kind. I admit, I was terrified to post this! But I’m super happy everyone is agreeing!
      And thank you so much for your kind comment. It means SO much!!! ❤ ❤

      Like

  7. Yes, Preach!! This is the best thing I’ve read(along with a few other posts, and some various books). It’s sad because there aren’t a lot of people left today who won’t criticize other’s masterpieces.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, thanks Sara! That means a lot to me. And I totally agree. We should just read to enjoy! It’s much more fun that way.

      Like

  8. YASSSS GIRL! I wanna say preach it but everybody has said that so….
    Imma say it anyway.
    YASSSS! AMEN! PREACH IT GURL!
    Penny, whoever said mean thing to you, please, point me in the right direction and I shall track them down and destroy every bit of their precious stereotypical Joanna Gains/ Whateverelse life. (Not really ’cause of the Bean Policy(TM)
    All for da best bean eva.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. And… another reason for me to be glad my blog isn’t public. 😛 I’m so sorry that people can be so mean! I try my best to be friendly and encouraging in the blogosphere; I can’t believe some people see it as an opportunity to run other people down. 😦
    This was a great, great, GREAT post!! You tell ’em, Penny. Thank you for being the wonderful blogger, writer, and fellow fangirl that you are. <33

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Unfortunately, most of the rude comments I get are from people I would have even let into a private blog :/ They’re not usually from just random people who seem mean! That’s why it can be so tricky.
      Thanks for your kind comment, I really appreciate it! ❤ 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. ” *it felt like it had been so long since I had someone really just enjoy my writing*” *smacks you in the face* THE REASON I ENJOY YOUR STUFF SO MUCH IS BECAUSE YOU ARE REAL AND NOT AFRAID TO BREAK RULES! So there! *picks you up off the floor* Sorry… And if its just people being meanies over things not spiritually related, just dont like you because you break their little bloggers mold, then whatever. Go sit on a cactus, guys.

    On Wed, Jun 19, 2019 at 3:13 PM A Southern Belle With Stories To Tell wrote:

    > PennyTheBean posted: ” Hello, dudes and dudettes. I haven’t posted or > been WordPress a lot lately, except for liking my friends’ posts. I > haven’t felt much like posting. I guess I’ve become a little bitter with > blogging. If there’s two thing” >

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ARIEL YOU ALWAYS LEAVE ME THE BEST COMMENTS YOU ARE AMAZING. Thank you so much for your kind words. You are awesome. ❤

      Like

  11. AMEN SISTA! I am so sorry you have haters, I do, too. In fact, it can get a little depressing. But, you always have me if you need to vent! *hugs* You preached on this most. YES! YES! 100% agree. I hope I have never offended you in any of my comments, you never know, I suppose; and I don’t want to be “one of those people.” That happened one time when I was in an editor’s club and this girl didn’t like my edit and she literally got me out of the editor’s club, email list, everything…and I was like “Um, I was doing my job.” LOL. Again, so sorry you had to deal with this! Have a nice day! My rants done. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU! And it is very depressing! Sorry you have haters – I’ve seen them on your blog before and they always make me mad that they could be so cruel to you! And don’t worry – your comments are always the kindest comments I get. ❤ And that incident is crazy! I've had stuff like that happen to me before too, so you're not alone!
      Sorry you've had to deal with it too. Thanks for sharing and always being so encouraging! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  12. *nods* *nods again* This was a great post, and I totally agree with you. I’m still a pretty new blogger, and while the encouraging comments mean a lot, the discouraging ones are pretty hard to go through. You’re a great writer and I love reading your posts!
    Also, I see no reason not to stand on prop chairs in an escape room. 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  13. A thousand amens to this! I haven’t personally experienced this, but I’ve heard of/seen it happening to others. It’s great that you brought it out in a post! AWESOME, BOLD, NEEDED POST. 👍👍👍

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t think I’ve ever had any mean, hateful, ultra-critical comments on my blog (for which I am VERY thankful) but I also know firsthand (IRL) how hurtful people can be when they’re ‘joking’ or ‘just giving their opinion’. I hope you’ll be able to post more in future because I, for one, really enjoy this blog. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. So true…
    I’m just gonna quote @arielashira because she said it very nicely…
    ” THE REASON I ENJOY YOUR STUFF SO MUCH IS BECAUSE YOU ARE REAL AND NOT AFRAID TO BREAK RULES!”
    I love your posts and they always make me smile!
    p.s. On a lighter note where in Tennessee did you visit?? (I live in Tennessee so….just wondering. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  16. OH NO!!! It makes me so mad that people criticize your writing and your posts because they are absolutely WONDERFUL and it’s obvious that you put so much effort into them. Keep on being your wonderful self and writing those awesome posts and breaking the rules!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ‘Tis a strange thing. There are a lot of opinionated people on the Internet, that’s for sure. But thanks so much for your kind words. I definitely will. 🙂

      Like

  17. Penny don’t you ever dare stop being you!! I just love this. I’m a bit of a harmless rule breaker myself. *fistbump* I hate this for you but I’m glad you came out stronger! On a lighter note, my mom discovered you followed her on Pinterest and it made her day! “We are still not a codfish.”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank ya, Kassie! I’m glad I found someone else who doesn’t care for pointless rules. *returns firstbump*
      (Also AH TELL YOUR MOM THANK YOU! I’m so glad I made her day 😀 )

      Like

  18. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all the junk. 😦 Just keep being you and there will be someone who enjoys *your* writing and *your* posts more than others! It was fun for me to help you proof read your book last year.
    Have a good summer and hopefully more positive blogging experience with nicer peeps…!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, it’s fine. Everyone has to deal with that kind of stuff. *hugs*
      And thank you! I really appreciated your help that time and hope you have an awesome summer as well!! ❤

      Like

  19. Okay, who is being rude to Penny? *cracks knuckles menacingly*
    I’m not 100% sure what you always meant by mean comments, but I was internally hoping that I’d never posted anything like that. 😳 Most of the time, when I read blog posts, I do agree with what they’re saying; once and a while, I’ll disagree, and usually I won’t post my controversial comment (basically just my thoughts) unless if I feel that it’s important. I feel so uncomfortable trying to post my thoughts that are different than the blogger’s that, 9/10 times, I won’t.
    I am going to wait for your book to come out to the world, and then I will read it, and I will enjoy my escape and go yell from the rooftops at other people to read it. SO THERE. *glares at the rude people*
    Also, I do agree that beta reading really shouldn’t all about the bad stuff. I usually accidentally end up just fingerling over other people’s writing instead of being helpful, actually 😂 Oopsie. Beta reading is reading from both sides, because while you don’t want typos in a finished work, you 100% want to hear what’s good as well. In fact, all writers need to. We are writing this thing for others to read and ENJOY, and if people aren’t seeming to enjoy it during beta reading… what the heck?? So, yeah, I agree with you there as well. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, thanks for having my back, tho ❤
      Yeah, I don't really see much need to post my different views on someone else's bog comment section! Most of the time it just exhausts the blogger and makes them feel odd. But most of the time, however, I do agree with 'em!
      Also THANK YOU so much! ❤ You are too kind. ❤
      And trust me, as a writer, I think beta readers who just fangirl over someone else's writing are just as helpful as people who point out the faults. Because, it's nice to know someone actually likes it! XD
      Thanks for the comment! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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