Hello, dudes and dudettes.
I haven’t posted or been WordPress a lot lately, except for liking my friends’ posts.
I haven’t felt much like posting.
I guess I’ve become a little bitter with blogging. If there’s two things I’ve learned about blogging, it’s this.
Some people might love ya. But there will be people who don’t.
And those people will waste no time informing you of that fact.
I’ve been going through some of my posts, changing things up on my blog.
I’ve been going through comments of all my posts.
So many cringy comments. So many people upset over nothing. So many people who don’t like what I have to say.
So many people “just putting their two cents in”.
(A.K.A, I really liked to argue and you suck, so this is perfect!)
One of my site pages ended up getting so many repetitive comments with people criticizing me for my method of being an author and blogger (not even about a moral issue, folks) that I had to delete all comments and shut off the ability to comment on that page.
At first I was so excited to share that part of my life with the world, so I left the comments wide open in hopes to chat giddily with some other writers as we fangirled together.
Instead, I got slapped in the face and told I was wrong and was breaking the rules.
I guess in my years of Internet isolation (I did not get a blog until I was almost 18 – and had no writer friends until then) I was not informed of all the rules of writing that actually mean, well, nothing. They were just the things no one was supposed to do because, well, you just weren’t. They had heard from someone else who heard it from someone else who heard one writer said you should never do that.
Well guess what.
I did it.
The worst part was, I was sorry for a little while. I was sorry I had broken a rule that had been creating by the Secret Society Of Boring Writers™.
But I realize now.
I’m not sorry.
And I should never have been.
My family likes to say I can be rule breaker, especially when we’re on vacation. When I was on one of those Dizzy Disk rides at Dollywood, I found it very fun to ride with my hands in the air.
But, apparently, there was a distinct possibility of me flying off and killing myself should I raise my hands, because on the loudspeaker from the ride operators voice soon boomed,
“PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE HANDLEBARS, PLEASE”
Alllllllllll righty then. Excuse me, sir.
The same vacation, we decided to do one of those cool escape rooms. In an effort to find a clue, I climbed a prop chair to get a better look at the ceiling. That earned me a loud beeping buzzer noise from the guy watching us from security cameras.
“DON’T STAND ON THE PROPS!” read the TV monitor.
Yeesh. *climbs down*
While I was in Tennessee a few months ago I was at one of those indoor trampoline parks. (As you can see, my family loves tourist destinations.) I was on the little kids side (of course) hopping from tiny trampoline to tiny trampoline. (I know how to party HARD am I right??)
One lady (basically the land version of a lifeguard?) walked up to me and informed me that “only four years old and younger can jump on those.”
I have a habit of breaking da rules.
My dad says that I’m the kind of person who takes after my mom. We see rules as sort of this great idea, a good goal to shoot for. But, they can easily be
bent or broken adjusted should they need be.
My point is, I don’t care if I’m breaking the rules.
Man’s pointless rules, that is. I want to always have God’s rules fixed upon my heart. But have ya ever noticed that people have a lot of pointless rules?
Eat clean. Recycle. Ride your bike to work. Don’t use straws. Use good grammar. Argue on Instagram the second someone doesn’t agree with you. Write this way. Not like that.
Be exactly like us.
I mean, this stuff by itself isn’t sinful. It’s not wrong, and the deep down the very core of the issue is a good hearted matter. (Most of the time.)
But preaching it like it’s the Gospel. Saying that’s going to get you to heaven, saying that is going to heal all your problems. That’s wrong. Because there’s only one Person who can truly do that.
And I’m going to break a lot of blogger hearts by saying this but, your comment telling me I’m wrong does not make me change my mind about what I wrote. You telling me you don’t agree and you don’t like my post and you think I don’t do a good job at being an author does not change my mind. I will not fall at your feet, begging for forgiveness, wailing at how stupid I have been, and thanking you for showing me the light.
I used to try to respond to those people who ruined my days with their critical, weird comments. Now, I just delete them. Into the trash they go. They don’t even get posted on my website, because they have to be manually approved by me. And so their aggravating words don’t even get to see the sunlight. (Thanks for the suggestion, Dad. It’s helped.)
It’s hard sometimes, because I could still respond with a fire comeback that would destroy their very will to live. But of course, God always whispers back into my heart.
It’s not very loving to destroy people’s will to live, even if they deserved it.
And besides, 9 times out of 10, I’ve found that I’ll always end up regretting that I had said something, rather than if I kept quiet.
But it is hard to refrain from posting and responding to those comments.
Christian bloggers have mastered the art of being annoying.
The world has gotten very good at being nasty, cruel, and even violent over the internet. But Christian internet users have become experts at being subtly annoying.
I’ve seen this on almost all my friend’s blogs. They’re victims of this too. Getting strange, rude, and annoying from other Christians.
Really, guys? Instead of encouraging your friends on that post they just spent hours typing up, you comment something snide and discouraging, sometimes even going as far as making assumptions about them that are none of your business, calling them names, or even shaming them on your own blog. (I have actually had the last one happen to me.)
Here’s some advice on what to do when you see a post you don’t agree with:
Don’t comment. At all.
y o u d o n t h a v e t o s a y a n y t h i n g
I’m serious. Don’t ruin their day by telling them that you disagree or why their wrong or why their post is stupid. And especially don’t “add on to what they already said”. This isn’t a group thread, and you’re not a preacher. This is their post, enjoy it and move on.
If I see a post I don’t agree with, but it’s by a friend who I try to read all of their posts, I simply hit the like button to show I read it, and move on. (But to all my blogger friends, please don’t assume if I don’t comment I don’t agree. 9.5 times out of 10 I do agree with what your posts say. I’m just tired and probably am trying to watch a movie and eat lunch and edit my novel so I couldn’t.)
I know I’m not supposed to let those words get under my skin. I wish I was tough. So that those words bounce off of me like Sophie bounces off of Sandor when she runs into him.
But they do.
Sometimes I wonder why I blog at all. Or even write another book. With all the complaints that I get on all of my writing, it gets discouraging.
Everyone’s got their own opinions. And they suck, to be honest.
I was watching TV show that featured a group of cloggers who were amazing. They had perfect footwork, and an talented group. After an awesome display of dance and music, one of the dancers were asked, “Why do you love clogging?”
He responded like this: “It’s about the audience. Seeing the smiles on their faces. It makes it all worth it.”
Gosh, it felt like it had been so long since I had someone really just enjoy my writing. Just to give them a piece of me, and they just enjoyed it. Just being there. Just for giving them an escape.
Not because they were there to grade it for typos. Or to tell me it was “too unrealistic”. But just to enjoy the escape from this painful reality. To another world, and show them that, “Hey, you can do this too. I know you’re just as strong as the characters here. Go back and live. You can do it.”
I think when someone gives us book, whether we bought it at the bookstore or we were asked to beta read, we think we have been bestowed the high honor to meticulously pick out everything about it and curl our noses up at everything that was wrong.
But maybe we should just, enjoy.
Fandoms can be weird places, trust me. But, at least they have this going for them. They’re a bunch of people who aren’t there to talk about that typo of page 42 or how it was so unrealistic when that happened or that WE could have done it better. We’re just here to love what an artist has created. And given to us.
A piece of their very own heart.
But, every now and then, that does still happen for me. Someone will email me about my novel. Or my sister will come up to me to chat about it. Or I’ll get a emoji filled comment from a follower. And their faces and words shine with how much they loved it. They weren’t there to criticize. They were just there to love. And feel. And enjoy.
And then I know I can keep on writing.
So maybe we should all start being a different kind of blogger. The one who just clicks out of the comment section if we’re just there to disagree. The kind that likes people’s pages and posts and fills their comment section with love and how much we adore their writing style. The kind that if we see something we don’t like, we close the window, leave the phone on the dresser, and go outside and be kind to someone else instead. The one who wants to fangirl over books instead of pick them apart with snide words and high minded thoughts.
Let’s be a different kind of blogger today.
Of course I am a Christian so I had to be inspirational at the end. Mostly I’m just here to complain. And ask the blogging community of a little more politeness. Still, thanks for reading.